Month: August 2020

Those who urge others to take lessons in their class but offer no real advice or instruction are like those who screw in light bulbs and never flip the switch.

There is no better prod than that which must be done.

Nothing is completely erased.

The mind, like a story, is built one word at a time.

Now is all there ever is.

The most difficult application of power is forbearance.

True, brevity is the soul of wit but speed is its hummingbird heart.

Curiosity is the carrot – empathy the stick.

At the risk of sounding obtuse, introspection is like a triangle; there are several kinds and each have their points but contrary to popular belief they all contain the right angle – it’s simply a matter of degree.

If you would pick a berry, be prepared for the thorn.

Carts. Horses. Order is pair a mount.

Love humanity and hate people; feel free to switch as needed.

Don’t tell people who you aren’t; show them who you are. You do not want people to think who you are is what you say you are not.

A ring is a fight with four corners – don’t be forced into one.

No waste.

One divides by zero by being equal to everything.

Never teach a monster where you live. When it inevitably shows up, treat it as you would any other guest.

A kitchen and a library provide the same service, if you wish to be healthy and live well, visit both daily. And just like mother said, finish your vegetables.

Remember when you step out of a crucible, you are white HOT.

It all doesn’t have to happen now.

One of the ways to know god is not to.

Truth lies in paradox.

Plan top down, build bottom up.

I am the only one who pushes my buttons.

Ideologies can be bullies too.

The problem I have with religion is that it goes against my religion.

Evil loves company. So does Good.

Misinformation is like body odor: All of us are susceptible, we prefer our own the most, and the least offensive scrub daily.

Strength and Denial often walk arm in arm.

Treat your education like a baby rattlesnake – watch it constantly, listen when it speaks, milk the venom daily, and most important: Remember it is a gift.

One can either break something, fix something, or do nothing. When in doubt, choose the last.

Hope, wisdom, god and a dictionary; note which you reach for first and put away last. The wise note this in others as well.

Hope, wisdom, god and a dictionary – all things to reach for the moment you need them and put away the moment you do not.

Knowledge is like good taste – not everyone has it, or having it, have it to the same degree.

Take care before tossing eggs into the air – even the best jugglers miss the catch from time to time.

We are the math problem that solves itself.

Make sure the authority you appeal to is relevant.

Demand knowledge. Gush wisdom.

Wisdom is to knowledge what a diamond is to coal.

Be the only Hero you worship. Remember all heroes are either tragic or flawed and often both.

Scaring people is a shitty way of making friends.

The only thing worse than a racist asshole is the letter p.

Always pay mind to the second rule of monster hunting: Do not become a monster in the pursuit.

The first rule of monster hunting is to stay away from the end that bites.

Better eight billion gods all speaking at once than one that cannot or will not.

If wisdom is your play, act the fool.

A rattlesnake, a tear track, a solitary yes – these are the essence of eloquence.

Christians and gnostics will always disagree about the serpent.

God’s nose knows no other.

Chase after truth and goodness and you will find beauty hurrying to catch up.

Better to feel groovy than look cool.

It is much easier to make an old friend new than it is to make a new old friend.

The minute you claim to be wise is the second you become a fool.

The wise and the foolish see themselves in the other; the difference between them? Only one is correct for the right reason. If you’ve just wondered what that reason might be, you have your answer. If you feel insulted, the answer is definitive.

There are two types of knowledge – the first involves rummaging around in your own head, the second involves rummaging around another’s. A library is how you achieve both and neither.

I leaned in to kiss Athena and to my delight, she to me.

On the first day, there is usually a syllabus. It often involves a spanking.

Goddesses, like heroes, have a thousand faces.

Jesus on the cross is a hook both god and humanity dangle to fish for the other. So far, both creels remain empty.

Atheists have two choices – believe in no god, or in all of them. Either way, none get special treatment.

I tried to throw god and was instead thrown. So I returned the favor.

A leash is the only whip where the slaves at both ends are content with their position.

It is better to bend than break. Yet, some things must break in order to mend well.

People’s hearts are first contact civilizations: Remember the prime directive. A more advanced civilization is doing the same.

The strength of the crew is the ship and the strength of the ship is the crew.

When god looks in the mirror she sees an atheist.

It is much better to greet the world laughing than crying.

I went looking for love in the library of humanity – and found it.

When cleaning up after a dog, always bring two bags.

When picking berries at the dog park, always choose those above waist height.

The solar system is our oyster and we are its pearl.

You don’t have to be sharp as a tack – just be deeper than one.

The harder the practice, the sweeter the song.

All my plans are elaborate. That is why they fail.

The internet is like a divorced spouse, it hates being wrong, loves to point out when you are, and will destroy you if you aren’t careful.

I am not spoon feeding you. I am pointing out the shape of the spoon.

Evil teaches oblivion.

The price of paradox is death; life is the coin in which it is paid. The opposite is also true.

Love is the amber that preserves and the reason why it is timeless.

When trying to teach someone a lesson, remember you are the student.

Sometimes it is necessary to burn a bridge that is rotten and unsafe to travel; this does not necessarily free you from rebuilding the bridge.

There are those whose works exceed their wisdom and those whose wisdom exceed their works. The latter is better.

Speak to me of wisdom – I thirst for it.

When the ship sinks make it sing.

The man who stands corrected strikes a heroic pose.

Consciousness is a participation with the numinous in the resolution of paradox.

Those who take a beggar’s pride in their own thoughts are first a king among thieves.

“I am the voice of awakening in the eternal night.” – Gnostic Hymn

Asshole; n. The fundamental test and proving ground of humanity. A pile of feces dressed up and shambling across the countryside, leaking. The distillation of billions of years of bad behavior. The mistake that cannot solve itself. The example that isn’t. The reconciliation of infinite self loathing and limited years of existence. Your ticket to another trip around the wheel of life. The primary reason the devil has slept in late since the dawn of creation, that is to say, delegation. The last remaining man on Earth. Or woman. Only an asshole discriminates based on gender.

Atheist; n. What god sees when she looks in the mirror.

Beauty; n. One of humanity’s oldest deities, this tragic figure, either locked in a tower or kept in a cave, is eternally guarded over by the fraternal twins known as Pride and Shame.

Birth; v, n. 1. The movement from one thing to all things.

2. See Death.

Bar; n. A place people get together to be alone. Churches, libraries, and brothels also provide this service.

Bra; n. A subject to keep well abreast, as difficulty often disguises itself in the lingerie of simplicity and vice versa.

Book; n. The treasure chest that unlocks you.

Circle; n. 1.The combination of convex and concave; distinct by definition yet inseparable by nature.

2. See Universe

Cliché; n. The people’s phrase, always readily at hand, like a comfy throw pillow you just can’t bear to toss out.

Company; n. The box you put yourself into or find yourself in.

Crucible; v, n. 1. That which defines you.

2. See Universe.

Death; v, n. 1.The collection of all your boxes placed into just two – sometimes set aflame, sometimes not.

2. The movement of all things into one thing.

3. See Birth.

Expert; n. Everyone but you.

Faith; v,n. Dwelling place of both Lord and Goddess – the indomitable castle in which their daughter, Hope, makes her last stand.

Fame; n. A love story where each partner is both giver and taker, yet eternally unsatisfied.

Fight; v, n. A ring with four corners combatants always retreat to.

Friend; n. You.

Fool; n. What you transform into the second you claim to be wise.

Goddess; n. 1. That stunning bitch who can divide by zero in her head but would rather smoke a joint with a friend.

2. See friend.

Hero; n. 1. A fool, properly motivated.

a. Said fool, fortunate.

b. Said fool, deceased.

c. Said fool, both fortunate and deceased.

2. A thin layer, once scratched, revealing a villain.

3. A villain, properly backlit.

4. A broad category covering villains past, revised and updated.

5. A broad category covering noble ancestors, ignored and minimized.

6. A convenient category one places those that do what one cannot or will not.

7. A citizen, rightly informed.

Hope; v,n. Daughter of possibility and faith.

Humanity; n. The universes’ tool to make all tools; a cosmic Swiss army knife.

Idea; v, n. The end product of humanity – as indestructible as matter and energy and far more precious.

Intellectual; n. Just one of many species facing extinction.

I oft reply when asked of me,

what words you use to label thee?

Expert generalist is my reply divine

and herein is how I define:

reason wed to curious comportment

a facile grasp of what’s important

facing a subject ignorance doth show

we resort to the wisdom of

“I don’t know.”

P. Bogomil

Jackpot; n. The result someone who is pushing your buttons and cranking your lever hopes for.

Knowledge; n, v. See Fame.

Leash; n. The whip with a slave attached at both ends.

Library; n. The preferred afterlife of forests.

Logic; n, v. The frequentative flutter of fitful flight forestalling the fateful fall.

Lord; n. 1. That magnificent bastard a goddess wants to hang out with.

2. See Friend.

Love; adj, v, n. The one thing there is always time for. That which you get by giving; how you get by being got.

Mind; n. 1. Something precious you are tasked with improving.

2. See Purse.

3. See Universe.

Money; n. See Fame.

Nothing; n, v. 1.The something that isn’t.

2. The universe’s graveyard.

3. Where all the interesting stuff happens. Or doesn’t.

Oubliette; n. The opening, passageway, and final destination of the forgotten.

Pain; n. See Crucible.

Penis; n. The hammer of god.

Possibility; n. The father of doubt and the mother of hope.

Purse; n. A bottomless pit filled with mystery.

Tower; n. An inverted oubliette in every way, except destination.

Universe; n. 1.The box you cannot look into before jumping.

2. The box you cannot climb out of.

3. See Mind. (Ed. note: This bears some correlation with Birth and Death, above.)

White Supremacy; n. That part of the pimple indicative of trouble below; just prior to a certain future – the only thing worse than a racist asshole is the letter p.

Word; n. A sacred thing you are nonetheless encouraged to play with.

[File: Hard Monkey – initial training]

[Begin transcript]

Oh, there you are. Take a seat number eleven. I’m reviewing your file and I see you were recruited from universe blue. So you’re probably a little nervous about your first assignment. Well don’t worry, first assignments are always observation only and we’re going to make you as inconspicuous as grass.

That’s where I come in. I will help you integrate the language and basic survival skills you’ve already learned with your assigned cover during your three weeks in universe yellow, planet Earth, North America, in the year [{redacted} replaced with era] mid twentieth century/early 21^st.

Your cover is a male of the species in maturity. Your personality profile template assignment is conservative, traditional. My job is to cover the broad outlines of this template, give you a feel for attitudes and preferences, that sort of thing. This alone will not stand personal scrutiny; your next training station will add the individual quirks and contradictions you’ll need in order to avoid detection and capture.

You do not want to be captured.

Comfy? Good. Help yourself to refreshment.

Let’s begin. Do you prefer top down or bottom up? Ah, me too.

As I mentioned, conservative, traditional. If you’ll check your language installment, you’ll see conservative is defined as tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions; marked by moderation or caution. Dress and style is indicated by a preference for traditional norms of taste, elegance, and manners.

As a political philosophy itself? You do like the top down, don’t you? Well, this philosophy is based on tradition and social stability, it stresses established institutions preferring gradual development to abrupt change. In practical matters this manifests itself by calling for lower taxes [see economic packet subsection three], limited government regulaton of business and investing [see economic packet subsection four], a strong national defense [see species preference packet {redacted, level 2 authorization required}], and individual financial responsibility for personal needs such as retirement and health care [see economic packet subsection 7 – capitalism, stage 4]. Broadly speaking you believe in equity, the law of the jungle [reference function user disabled – no further references will be provided], survival of the fittest, and tend to look to the past for solutions.

But let’s narrow down a bit shall we? Your assignment is North America, specifically, let’s see, what are they calling themselves here… ah yes, the United States of Colo… oh no, wait, America. You refer to yourself as “the right.” What’s that? No, as much as they would like that, the opposite party is called “the left.” Yes, humans are that simple. And may I say, I’m encouraged by your speed in getting into the spirit of this species, eleven. You’ve been doing your homework.

To continue, your focus is on the individual, with a goal towards economic freedom. You support employers and advocate for free trade. You strive for a deregulated economy, business, and industry. You wish to avoid taxing and spending and want little or no government interference in society or social lives. Your feelings towards social progress is a strong preference for maintaining the status quo.

When it comes to society and culture a good motto to remember is “The world is fine as it is.” You prefer a society that is exclusive, established, and nationalistic. The preferred community is one based on morals.

This community of morals holds the family unit as the primary source of socialization and cultural transmission. This atmosphere is one of reward and punishment. A strict parent, preferentially two, preferentially heterosexual, as according to the principles of equity and tradition, through a method known as tough love, builds a relationship with the child based on respect and fear, and through this relationship instills moral strength and absolutes. The primary goal is to produce a self reliant child.

Valuable education is perceived as that which teaches the skills necessary to compete and succeed, with an emphasis on individualism. A child equipped with this education built on the values of self discipline, self defence and moral strength, builds character. Those with a successfully built character become self reliant adults. Vocations preferred by this template include: police, military, stockbrokers, sales, law, and agriculture.

I know. It’s a lot to take in. Would you like a break? No? Very well, we’re almost done anyway. We’re down to the individual. The traditional conservative holds these general beliefs: Religion is theistic, organized, and conventional. Others must not interfere with rights. Criminals choose to be criminals and the homeless have no work ethic, no values, and no shame. Society is survival of the fittest. Equality is opportunity and freedom is the chance to achieve or fail, but of the two freedom is best. That said, if opportunity needs a champion, the conservative is there.

What else? Hmmm. Just remember that you uphold order, like those who help themselves, and respond very well to strong role models and you’ll do fine.

I think we’re done here. Have you had midday nourishment? Ever had a mayonnaise churro? Oh, you’re in for a…[end transcript]

The supplicant stood swaying at the feet of the wise one – head heavy, pack slung by one strap in the crook of an arm, the dust of miles caked upon a troubled brow.

“Master…” (Deep breath)
“…I seek…” [Sharp exhalation]“…THE TRUTH!”

The wise one took in the supplicant toe to crown.

“Fuck.” She said with a smile. “Another dreamer.”