It’s been some time since I last made an entry; I’ve been letting a number of things marinate in my mind, which is both a good and a bad thing. The good thing is that I have most of a short story worked out and have started writing it. The bad thing is that all of the recent political turmoil is fucking with my capacity to remain positive and optimistic.
It’s a stone cold fool who thinks that the events of the last few months don’t portend even darker days ahead. Spring will bring no thaw this year.
I mean look at what is happening at an alarmingly quick rate – our state department is gutted and led by the former CEO of Exxon, a man awarded Russia’s highest non military honor, the medal hung around his neck by Putin himself, our EPA is systematically under assault as regulations that protect life are targeted for elimination, the president’s children are given the reins of state, positions of power beyond the scope of their experience and ability, widespread purges of essential personnel are being replaced with people whose primary tenet is loyalty to 45, the President is using the national treasury to pay for expenditures at HIS properties, not to mention the expense of secret service protection for his wife and child who will not live at the White House, allies and enemies alike mock our president and they’re not wrong.
This of course, is not even a complete list of the outrages that our new president is either embroiled in or is likely to pursue.
The Russia thing, for example.
I’m not even going to get into the many links both direct and indirect Russian intelligence has woven itself into this administration, both leading up to the election and arguably every day since.
It’s enough to send one into a livid rage. Except, that won’t help. In fact, it will only make things worse. I understand the inclination though. I have to actively fight against it every time I hear 45, Mitch McConnell, or any republican in power speak. I have to remind myself with every yellow tea party flag on the back of the pickup trucks I see on the road that the people who support conservative ideology and yearn for a theocratic corporate state ought to be pitied more than loathed.
They don’t know any better. This in itself would place them squarely in the zone of my Venn diagram labeled “Treat them with kindness, for they are like children.” Unfortunately, too many also occupy a section labeled “Willfully ignorant and proud to be so”, which immediately forces them outside my ability to be kind.
At best, I can muster cool civility.
Removing myself from their presence is my first inclination. In my darkest moods, I wish things upon them that could only happen in a science fiction novel. Because no matter what they’ve done so far, I refuse to wish upon them that which they so sorely wish to visit on the rest of us.
Pain. Suffering. Humiliation. Death. Preferably in that order. This is what it seems to be the GOP, Trump, and conservatives in general wish to bring to fellow citizens and a good portion of the rest of humanity. They don’t give a damn about anything other than staying in power, accumulating as much wealth as they can in the process and praising Jesus as they do it.
And too many of my fellow citizens either cheer them on enthusiastically or can’t be bothered to care at all.
Like I said, it’s been difficult to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook.
I abhor violence. Asimov said that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. It’s also the first thing the bully reaches for. It’s difficult to see the actions of today’s GOP and the conservative movement as anything other than bullying. They break the rules when the rules hinder them and insist on their adherence when they favor them. They outright lie and obfuscate the truth. They vote against the interests of their constituents in favor of corporate donations. They insist that citizens live a morality they themselves will not.
They are already wielding political violence and have assaulted respect for the truth so many times they have succeeded in replacing truth with their own version of reality – not only in the minds of their supporters but arguably in their own minds as well.
How can actual violence not be far behind? A cynic would posit that these actions are in part designed to provoke violence, which would enhance their agenda more than stall it. Those tip toeing around the fringes of paranoia will say that if such an event doesn’t happen on its own, the administration is likely to either stage or directly spark such an event themselves.
History has shown the efficacy of this tactic. Perhaps in this case fearing and shouting about the worst will cure the worse. Perhaps.
So I make my phone calls and I stay as informed as I can without jeopardizing my blood pressure. More has to be done, I know this. But I won’t be a part of the further degradation of our society. I refuse to give in to fear. I refuse to shelter in place and tighten my circle of concern. We’re all in this together you dim witted motherfuckers and I won’t let you have dominion over me or what I care about.
And I won’t let you turn me into a version of you. Fuck that. I also won’t let you demoralize me so badly I curl into the fetal position, paralyzed by despair.
I’ve been stewing in my own juices long enough. I guess break time is over.